{Wouldn't change a thing}

many of my friends have asked me what life was like having two kids under two. very honestly i would tell them that the first 3 months were tough!  even looking back 16 months i would still say it was tough, but with more of a smile on my face. i knew that i would have my hands full with a newborn and a 21 month old (and to my sweet friends who have experienced life with many little ones close in age, you amaze me! ) but i didn't quit grasp how full! my daughter wasn't really talking yet, still in diapers, still like a baby in my eyes, and now i had this teeny tiny little baby boy that needed all my attention. there were many tears, many frustrations, many sleepless nights and many nights feeling guilty as a mom. was i being patient enough, being compassionate enough towards peyton (her world just turned upside down and she was still too young to quite understand), was i taking time to enjoy her or was i focusing on her immaturities (she was in fact only 21 months old, how mature could she be?), not to mention trying to take care of a newborn! was i being the mom God wanted me to be or was i just trying to make it thru the day? in all honesty i was just trying to make it thru the day but the Lord granted me so much compassion and grace!

i can remember those first 3 months so vividly and clear because it may have been an extremely difficult time but the Lord used it to remind me of the promises we have in Him. His mercies are new every morning. although i would go to bed exhausted and questioning my day, i would wake up remembering that my children are blessings and gifts from the Lord. and i knew that the Lord would provide all that i need to get thru that day if I rely on His strength, not mine.



i'm happy to say that the first 3 months don't last forever but i'm thankful to say that the lessons do! i ,now, have a 16 month old and a 36 month old, and although i may have questioned having them so close in the very beginning, i am so thankful that the Lord's plans are perfect. they are at the age were they are beginning to adore eachother, play with eachother, watch out for eachother, and although peyton does like to take over the role of "mommy" towards ethan, they absolutly love eachother! that makes it ALL worth it and easy to say that i wouldn't change a thing!

taking turns pushing each other! yes, ethan can push peyton!